We want to be good people. And, as a result, we regret some of our actions. But why are we sorry that we did them? Five classic options have been offered.
Option 1: We regret what we did because it has brought about painful consequences for us. This means that, if the cost of our mistake were somehow gone, we would not really regret having done it. We regret the results, not the deed. We control ourselves in the future because we are afraid of what will happen if we don't.
Option 2: Our act interrupted, damaged, or destroyed a personal relationship that is important to us. If the relationship were actually unaffected by what we did, we would not regret it. We are careful in the future because we fear causing problems in the relationship.
Option 3: We feel that we have failed to live up to being the kind of human being we want to be, or at least that we are striving to be. Our attachment to our values is important for us, and even if there were no particular negative consequences, we would still regret having done this act. We change our behavior, in an attempt to be the best person that we can be.
Option 4: We feel that what we have done separates us from the deep spiritual reality of our world as we understand it. We stop because we wish to maintain a good relationship with the spiritual meaning of our lives.
Option 5: We love our world and the creation/creator, and what we did puts us out of sync with them. We regret our behavior because it separates us from [the] One we love and/or from Being.
In Jewish tradition, now is a good time to review our lives and set things right. Which options work for you? For which actions?
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